Monster in My Head

There is a monster who lives in my head, He talks to me softly he wants me dead.
He tells me this time I’ll stay in control. He tells me not to let anyone know.
He convinces me that no one cares, He whispers the pain is to much to bear.
He tells me how wonderful I will feel. He tells me he loves me and it is real.
He tells me not to call anyone, My heart starts racing, he tells me it will be fun.
He tells me not to think of past times, He promises I can do it just once this time
Who is this monster who calls me by name, RELAPSE, he waiting to start the game.


“I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have periled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom.” 
― Edgar Allan Poe

“People use drugs, legal and illegal, because their lives are intolerably painful or dull. They hate their work and find no rest in their leisure. They are estranged from their families and their neighbors. It should tell us something that in healthy societies drug use is celebrative, convivial, and occasional, whereas among us it is lonely, shameful, and addictive. We need drugs, apparently, because we have lost each other.” 

I Can Breathe Again

By Elizabeth – 2010

I can breathe again
Whispers in the wind
Telling me
That our lives can
Be lived
Sober and Free
From all the pain and anguish
That consumed
Our lives
I can breathe again
No more pain
Inflicted on you
From me….
Having to break those vows
Of life
For What? Why?
Through those steps
In that Big ass book
You and I will learn
To Breathe Again

“Imagine a society that subjects people to conditions that make them terribly unhappy then gives them the drugs to take away their unhappiness. Science fiction It is already happening to some extent in our own society. Instead of removing the conditions that make people depressed modern society gives them antidepressant drugs. In effect antidepressants are a means of modifying an individual's internal state in such a way as to enable him to tolerate social conditions that he would otherwise find intolerable.” 
― Theodore J. Kaczynski

“There'a a phrase, "the elephant in the living room", which purports to describe what it's like to live with a drug addict, an alcoholic, an abuser. People outside such relationships will sometimes ask, "How could you let such a business go on for so many years? Didn't you see the elephant in the living room?" And it's so hard for anyone living in a more normal situation to understand the answer that comes closest to the truth; "I'm sorry, but it was there when I moved in. I didn't know it was an elephant; I thought it was part of the furniture." There comes an aha-moment for some folks - the lucky ones - when they suddenly recognize the difference.” 
― Stephen King

The Addict

by Dean  c.1999

The addict is a special case,
of feelings gone awry.
Alone, yes, in a crowded place,
perhaps a real nice guy.
Or gal, it’s not to say the least,
both fret in stereo,
Beauty or the savage beast,
they never seem to know.

The world is wrong, a bitter place,
but deep, way down inside,
He’d rather die, than lose face,
he’d rather run and hide,
Distractions are the easy route,
with drugs and sex and food,
Adrenalin, beyond a doubt,
crime and dice will do.

The child inside is safe, endured,
he’ll grieve another day,
No more hurt, he’ll make sure,
someone else will pay,
Someday, maybe things will change,
he won’t have to live this lie,
He’ll laugh and dance and shout and sing,
All the music trapped inside.

Just Beneath the Surface

by Dean B c.2000

Just beneath the surface of her pleasant, winning smile,
Pompous and indignant, it’s been there quit a while,
Comforting, reliable, it keeps her in the dark,
At least a million reasons and subtle quirks remark:

“Sure it makes a lot of sense!” she’ll deal with it tomorrow,
Sadly now the curtain falls, why does this seem to sorrow,
A chapter ends, a twist of fate, what could be the purpose,
For most of us the painful truth, lies just beneath the surface.